Views on Self Harming

Like the rest of Sussex Mad this page is somewhere I have been very honest, some people may not like what I say, some people may find some of it upsetting, some might think I am full of crap, but some people may find it helpful to find out that they are not the only people that do what they do and that in my opinion its no worse than what a lot of people do. About my opinion, I am NOT a qualified psychologist and I am NOT a doctor, I am just a person who is an expert by experience and that means I do know more than some so called professionals, but less than some others.

Ok, well what actually is self harm / self abuse, some think of it as cutting yourself on purpose and something you would have to be really crazy to do. I think of it differently and I hope after reading this other people may understand better as well. There are actually many ways people can and often do self harm:

Cutting themselves (Yes, I do sometimes)
Punching walls etc. (Yes, I do sometimes)
Drinking (Very rarely and never too excess)
Smoking (Never)
Drugs (Never)
Getting into fights on purpose (Never)
Choosing to be in bad relationships (Never!)
Fast driving (No comment!)
Sleeping around (Never)
Eating too much (Yes, I do)
Eating too little (Never!)
Working too many hours (Sometimes)
Having piercings (Yes, I do)
Having tattoos (Yes, I do)
Extreme sports (I wish I could do!)

In fact I think that anything that a person chooses to do that does any form of harm or risks serious harm to them is in my opinion a form of self harm. That list could go on for pages! I think almost everybody self harms in some way or another. I am NOT pro self harm / cutting, but I do understand that for some people (including myself) its just something that they need to do sometimes. I have included that list so that people can read it and see that self harming is not something only done by 'nutters'.

In my case I just sometimes feel a lot of anger towards myself and to self harm by cutting myself I find takes away or at least takes the edge off of those feelings. I am very careful and never cut myself deeply and I always make sure that I try to use something clean and sharp to do the cutting. Please make sure that if you self harm that you do the same, or much better yet you don't self harm at all! If you know somebody that self harms then hiding really sharp knives etc. may sound like a good idea, but if somebody is determined to self harm then they will do it and a clean cut from a sharp knife can be easier to 'fix' than something done with a screwdriver or jagged glass.

I really am not at all pro self harm and wish that I did not ever feel the need to do it myself, but no matter what I do I still self harm sometimes. In case anybody is wondering I do not 'get off' on pain in anyway and also I would never harm anybody else when in 'that kind of mood', only myself. Finally I would like to say that self harming does not mean suicidal, in fact I think I would have been a lot more suicidal in my life if I had not self harmed.

Here is a short poem called "Feel the pain" I wrote about self harming:

Feel the pain, deep inside
Nasty scratches, hard to hide
Feel the pain, is what I need
Cut myself, until I bleed
Feel the pain, I was so blind
Seemed so right, at the time
Feel the pain, I was so wrong
Should have known that, all along

If you are going to do it, at least try to do it safely.

Dean - Sussex Mad